How to Stay Mentally Strong When Everyone Else Is Losing Theirs

Editor’s Note: This article was originally written in March 2020, during the first weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic. I have kept that history because it is part of the point. The circumstances have changed, but the lesson about fear, information, personal responsibility, faith, and mental resilience has not. I have also kept the Then and Now notes to show what I believed in the middle of that moment and how those ideas look several years later.

This article began in March 2020.

COVID-19 was spreading. Grocery shelves were being stripped. Headlines changed by the hour. Social media was full of fear, arguments, predictions, rumors, and people who had suddenly become experts on infectious disease.

I was frustrated by all of it.

The pandemic was real. The danger was real. But so was the panic.

What interested me then, and still interests me now, was this:

How do you keep control of your own mind when everyone around you seems to be losing control of theirs?

The details have changed since 2020.

The principle has not.

There will always be another frightening headline, economic worry, political argument, health scare, war, shortage, personal crisis, or person on social media explaining why you should be terrified.

A strong mind does not mean you never feel fear.

It means fear does not automatically get to make your decisions.

Stop Feeding Your Mind Panic

The best way to strengthen your mind is to stop feeding it garbage.

Governments lie.

You can’t trust the media because they’ll make any situation seem worse than it already is.

That does not mean every government statement is false or every news report is dishonest. It means I do not believe in handing my judgment or my peace of mind over to a government press conference, television network, social-media feed, politician, influencer, or anybody else who wants my attention.

Governments can call political choices “common sense.” They can describe policies in ways that sound nothing like their practical effects. Politicians can contradict themselves while presenting both positions as obviously correct. News organizations can take a legitimate event and surround it with enough speculation, repetition, outrage, and drama to keep you anxious for the next twelve hours.

So stay informed, but think for yourself.

Listen to what is being said. Then look at what is actually being done.

Ask whether the language matches reality.

Look for information from more than one source.

And remember that neither a government official nor a television personality gets to decide what occupies your mind all day.

You can acknowledge a real problem without allowing somebody else’s presentation of that problem to control your emotional state.

Even the CDC recommends taking breaks from news and social media when repeated exposure is adding to stress. Staying informed and staying glued to the feed are not the same thing.

Then: “Fear spreads faster than any virus.”
Now: Social media and 24-hour news cycles can amplify fear, anger, and uncertainty long after you have learned the information you actually need. The technology has changed. The need to protect your attention has not.

Move Your Body

Nervous energy has a way of building on itself.

If you are worried, restless, angry, or mentally spinning, physical movement gives that energy somewhere constructive to go.

You do not need a perfect workout plan. Walk. Lift weights. Do bodyweight exercises. Follow a workout video. Kickbox. Stretch. Work in the yard. Do something that asks your body and mind to participate in the present moment.

I especially like activities that require enough attention that I cannot spend the whole time rehearsing everything that might go wrong.

Your body gets movement and your mind gets a break.

Give Your Mind Something Worth Doing

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.

If you spend all day waiting for the next terrible update, your imagination will happily invent one before it arrives.

A threat can be real without deserving every minute of your attention.

Take whatever action is available to you. Then put your mind back to work on something worthwhile.

Work on a goal. Clean something. Learn something. Make something. Help somebody. Read. Pray. Exercise. Spend time with people you care about.

This is not denial. It is conscious choice.

Our mindfulness techniques for stress and overwhelm are useful here because mindfulness trains you to notice where your attention has gone and deliberately bring it back.

Then: “What you feed your mind matters.”
Now: That may be even more obvious today. Phones, feeds, alerts, videos, headlines, and algorithms compete for your attention all day long. If you do not make conscious choices about what enters your mind, somebody else will make those choices for you.

Prayer and Meditation

For me, mental strength is not purely mental.

There comes a point where I have done what I can do.

I have gathered the information.

I have made the decision.

I have taken the reasonable precautions.

I have acted where action was possible.

Then I have to stop trying to control the entire universe.

That is where prayer becomes powerful for me.

Prayer is not pretending the problem does not exist. It is surrendering what I cannot control to a Power greater than myself.

Meditation gives me another kind of space. It allows the noise to settle long enough for me to recognize which thoughts are useful and which thoughts are simply fear repeating itself.

I do not need science to give me permission to pray.

Faith is part of my spiritual life.

If meditation is part of yours too, How to Meditate: 7 Steps to Peace, Clarity, and Healing gives you a simple practice for creating that space.

Do what you can.

Then release what you cannot.

There is a great deal of peace in knowing the difference.

Control What You Can. Release What You Can’t.

Mental strength becomes much easier when you stop confusing responsibility with control.

You can prepare.

You can make the phone call.

You can save money.

You can change your habits.

You can get another opinion.

You can turn off the television.

You can stop arguing online.

You can ask for help.

You can decide what happens next.

Then there are things you simply cannot control.

That does not mean there is no solution. Sometimes the solution is action. Sometimes it is adaptation. Sometimes it is acceptance. Sometimes it is changing the way you are thinking about what happened so that the event no longer owns your peace.

A growth mindset helps because it keeps you looking for what can still be learned, changed, practiced, or approached differently.

Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.

In 2020, circumstances changed almost overnight.

There were shortages. Lockdowns. Lost jobs. Closed businesses. Changed plans. People learned new ways to work, communicate, shop, teach, exercise, worship, and stay connected.

The point was never that everything would be easy.

The point was that you were more adaptable than the panic wanted you to believe.

The kite rises against the wind, not with it.

Life will change again. Something will happen that you did not plan for.

When it does, ask a better question than, “Why is this happening to me?”

Ask, “What can I do with what is true now?”

Then: “You have to take responsibility for your own mindset.”
Now: I still believe that. Waiting for the whole world to calm down before you allow yourself any peace is not much of a strategy. Responsibility does not mean you control every circumstance. It means you take ownership of the choices that are actually yours.

Mental Strength Does Not Mean Doing Everything Alone

There is another side of personal responsibility that matters.

Sometimes the responsible action is asking for help.

Talking to a qualified professional is an action.

Telling somebody you trust that you are struggling is an action.

Accepting support is an action.

A strong mind is not measured by how successfully you hide what you are going through.

Strength includes knowing when your own tools are enough and when another person can help you find the next step.

“You can destroy your Now by worrying about tomorrow.” — Janis Joplin

Your Mind Is Still Yours

The world does not have to become calm before you can become calmer.

Other people do not have to stop panicking before you stop participating in their panic.

The news does not have to become pleasant.

The economy does not have to cooperate.

Everyone on social media does not have to suddenly become reasonable.

You work with what is actually yours.

Your attention.
Your choices.
Your actions.
Your faith.
Your willingness to adapt.
Your willingness to ask for help.
Your decision about what you will continue feeding with your mind.

Don’t give in to panic or fear. Fear can be real, but it does not have to rule you. You have what it takes to meet what is in front of you. Have faith in yourself.

A strong mind is not immune to fear.

It simply refuses to make fear its master.

Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.

And when you have done what you can do, let yourself have some peace.

If you know you need to stop feeding your mind an endless stream of bad news but keep finding yourself scrolling anyway, Doomscrolling Breakthrough is designed to help you break that cycle and take back more control over your attention.