The People-Pleaser’s Guide to Taking Your Power Back

Do you:

“True compassion is not about fixing others; it’s about being your true self so others can see what that looks like.” – Bashar

• Say yes when you want to say no?
• Worry what others think of you more than how you feel?
• Feel responsible for everyone else’s emotions?

You might be a people-pleaser.

And while your kindness is beautiful, it should never come at the cost of your well-being.

Let’s change that.

What Is People-Pleasing Really?

People-pleasing is a survival pattern. Maybe you were taught early on that love had to be earned through being “good,” helpful, agreeable.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t need to shrink to be loved. You don’t need to say yes to be worthy.

People-pleasing isn’t about being nice. It’s about fear:

• Fear of rejection
• Fear of disappointing others
• Fear of not being enough

The cost? Your time, energy, and authenticity.

Signs You Might Be Losing Yourself to People-Pleasing

• You feel drained after spending time with others
• You rarely express your true preferences
• You apologize often, even when you didn’t do anything wrong
• You avoid conflict at all costs
• You say yes and immediately regret it
• You feel resentful but don’t say why

Awareness is the first step back to yourself.

How to Reclaim Your Voice

1. Check In With Your Body

When someone makes a request, pause. Ask:

How does this feel in my body? Tight shoulders, a sinking stomach, or shallow breath are often red flags.

2. Pause Before You Answer

You don’t owe anyone an immediate yes. Try:

• “Let me get back to you.”
• “I need to think that over.”

3. Speak Your Truth (Gently)

You can be honest and kind:

• “That doesn’t feel right for me right now.”
• “I’m focusing on fewer commitments right now.”

4. Notice Where the Pattern Comes From

Whose approval are you still chasing? Name it. Then decide if that person’s opinion should run your life.

5. Practice Saying No

Out loud. In the mirror. With a friend. Start small.

Your voice gets stronger the more you use it.

Final Thought

Your worth is not measured by how much you do for others.

It’s measured by how much you show up for yourself.

Every time you speak your truth, set a boundary, or say no with love, you’re choosing you. And that’s a powerful thing.

Need support learning to say no? Read No Is a Complete Sentence (And Other Empowering Truths) or subscribe below for future posts and tools to reclaim your inner peace.